Ringo & Katrina

It is 3:09 in the morning on a Tuesday...or is it Wednesday? I don't know. I'm looking at what ever day this is through yesterday's eyes most of the time anyway, so who knows?

Dan is working another night shift..second out of three in his long Hell Week schedule of 3 days and 3 nights. He'll be off for a few days soon. I wish I could say that I'm looking forward to his time off, but this week for me has been measuring something else instead. I've known that when he is off, we have some extremely sad things to take care of.

At 1:00 this Friday the 12th, we are having both Ringo and Katrina put down. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make in my life. Putting down my beloved dog Maggie four years ago, still crowds my memory and makes me emotional at times. The very idea of putting down two at one time seems surreal. But after long days and weeks of thought, discussion, online research into their diseases and ailments, after lots of crying and soul searching, the decision was made with a heavy heart and sleepy mind.

I first called my vet, Dr. Malone, who is familiar with both of my cats. I needed to talk to her about every option and to get her personal opinion and some hard answers to my many questions. She is an exceptional vet and caring person who spent nearly 45 minutes on the phone listening to me and then telling me what she truly believed was the best option.

Katrina is a whisper of her former self. She always carried herself with a bashful dignity. If she deemed you worthy, she would remain in your presence long enough for you to gaze upon her regal beauty...if you were really worth her time, she'd let you pet her and hold her. It took me over 5 years to gain that trust, but once I did, she melted my heart to mush. She later proved to be quite a spunky little fighter and ball player with an agility unmatched by any cat I know. She loved to bury herself into blankets and peek out with just her nose sticking out.
















Ringo has always been more of a loyal goofy lap dog than an aloof cat. He always makes me laugh, or yell...one or the other. He can get into more trouble, then he can make you want to hug him like an innocent teddy bear. He has been by my side or on my lap for such a long time...I can't imagine life without him.
















I adopted them from the pound in Albuquerque, in October of 1995. It was not my intent to adopt two cats, but to look for a cat I had just lost. I was never a cat person, but this white cat with black ears and a black tail wandered into my life. I moved across town taking her with me to an apartment. One night, exhausted, probably sleep-walking...after listening to her caterwauling at the door to go out...I let her out and lost her forever. She was gone. I went to look for her for days and days.

I ended up at the pound looking for her in all the cages and even on the dead cat pickup lists. I found myself in the cat infirmary section when a small gray kitten reached out from the cage to tap me on the arm. The caretaker said "That one's ready to play...needs a home, this is his last day." It was Ringo...a bright eyed kitten in a row of cages with larger, older, sicker cats. He had ear mites...that's all. How could I leave him there to die? Of course, I got him right then and there.

As we left, I passed a cage with lots of people looking in at the puffballs with faces known as Katrina and the litter she was with. She was no bigger than a baseball as she turned around to face me and hissed the teeniest cutest hiss I ever heard. I held Ringo up to the cage and said, "Meet your future little sister. We're coming back for her."

I brought her home and we've all been together every day since then. They saw me through some very bleak, lonely and hopeless times back when I was alone, years before meeting Dan. I came home day after day to what could have been an empty house, but they were there and are still here with me now...at least for a few more days.

Things are different now though. Katrina has nearly wasted away to the point that she no longer cleans herself, and her fur is matted and hard to brush. She's also developed Vestibular Disease and is disoriented and dizzy most of the time. But I think some sort of cancer may be the true culprit in her decline. She stays in one room...afraid to leave it for long.

Ringo, is my tormented decision and the one I cry about the most. He looks perfect on the outside, his hearing, vision and agility are very sharp. He still makes me laugh and I could still yell at him for getting into trouble too. He's still a big goofy boy. However, he was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure months ago. He is just starting to show the signs of the oncoming disease. There is injection treatment to keep it at bay, but it is extreme for a cat of his advanced age, plus it is very costly. He is having urinary issues and making messes all over the house, on furniture, in the kitchen...it's just a nightmare. In our new house, he would have to stay outside. I can't think of an old inexperienced, de-clawed cat making it for long in the outdoors in an unfamiliar place. I can't lose another cat to the unknown like that one back in '95...she never even had a name yet!..and I still wonder whatever happened to her.

Friday afternoon is going to be a very sad day. I will say goodbye to them..hold them..hug them and let them go. They will go from my life together just as they came into it. Fifteen years went by so quickly. Where did that time go? How can it be that my kittens are dying of old age already?